Improving Sentences for IELTS Writing Task 2

Below are some sentences written by a student. There might be one or more mistakes in the sentence or the sentences might be fine but you need to improve them.

  1. In my opinion, I believe that studying history is extremely important in term of learning about culture, and science, medicine development.
  2. On the one hand, history is a subject that is rarely used in people’s lives. Thus, it would be better to focus on science and technology, which is more relevant to the future.
  3. In other word, they should use the school time effectively, because students are loosing the motivation to study subjects like history that has no important role in day to day life.
  4. For instance, most people memorize dates,names and facts when they study history. This information is not useful for the future.
  5. Furthermore, Valuable information can often be found in history, how science and medicine had developed over the years.
  6. In conclusion, although history has many information that not used today, studying history is important for our present as will as for our future.
Answers
  1. In my opinion, I believe that studying history is extremely important in terms of learning about culture and the development of science and medicine. (The linking word “and” can be used to link items in a list as well as clauses.)
  2. On the one hand, as history is a subject that is rarely used in people’s lives, it would be better to focus on science and technology, which is more relevant to the future. (Combine the sentences to make one complex structure. 33 words is a good length but don’t try for much more than that.)
  3. In other words, school time should be used effectively because students are loosing the motivation to study subjects such as history that has no important role in day to day life. (Linking words.)
  4. For instance, most people memorize dates, names and facts when they study history which is not considered useful information for the future. (Combine the sentences.)
  5. Furthermore, valuable information can often be found in history which relates to how science and medicine has developed over the years. (Grammar: capital letters and tenses.)
  6. In conclusion, although history has a lot of information that is not used in today’s life, studying history is still important for our present as well as for our future. (The main issues are grammar and writing the sentence so that it contains a more precise meaning.)

Linking Words: You can also see that a number of linking words have also been corrected. Linking words are easy to learn but students still make mistakes with forgetting the “s” or using non-academic linking words such as “like”. Make sure you all work on perfecting your linking.

 

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Comments

  1. Liz you are brilliant

  2. Hi Liz,
    I will write here because I don’t know where to write my question. In problem solution essay do I have to write my own opinion ? I have seen your example and is not given your own opinion , or if I have to give my opinion in what cases . Can you please answer my question because I am a bit confuse .

    • No. Just state the solutions. You don’t have to offer an opinion about the solutions. Just give them as they are.

      • Hello Liz, I found this site on Google, i have been trying to subscribe for lectures. But don’t know where to click. Is it possible to get essays checked by you? Thank you

        • I post tips each week on this website. There’s an option to subscribe at the bottom of most posts. Otherwise, you can find a list of recent posts in the right hand column of this site. I don’t offer marking but I do offer advanced writing task 2 lessons. They are not cheap but they are excellent and will explain all the right techniques to use in easy steps: http://subscriptions.viddler.com/IELTSLizStore

  3. Hloo!Liz, is there will be lose of marks if we use informal words in writing??

  4. hi Liz
    I agree …. itself means it’s your opinion.
    so wold it be good to write ‘in my opinion’ before ‘ I Agee or disagree?

  5. Nguyen Vo Minh Nghi says

    Hi Liz!
    As English is not my first language to I struggled to get a high score on IELTS. I just finished my IELTS test and here are my results: W: 6, R: 5.5, L: 7.5, S: 7
    I really disappointed about my reading score as I thought I did pretty great on it and I also want to increase my skill on Writing Task 2 . My problem is I could think about ideas, but it is difficult for me to how to write it in a academic way . So can you give me some tips to improve my vocabulary and sentence structure. Thank you
    All the best

  6. should we write numbers ( 2 , 100 , or any other ) as numerice ( 2 ) or alphabets in writing task 1 and 2…

    i am lit bit confused

  7. Hello Liz,

    In the second sentence :
    ‘…it would be better to focus on science and technology, which is more relevant to the future.’
    Why did you use ‘which is’ and not ‘which are’ ? is ‘which’ referring to ‘science and technology’ or the fact of focusing on science and technology ?
    Is ‘science and technology’ considered singular ?

    The same thing in the 5th sentence :
    ‘…how science and medicine has developed over the years.’
    The use of ‘has’ instead of ‘have’.

    Could you please explain that to me?
    Thank you Liz.

    • Because the subject is considered as one “science and technology”, not as two individual subjects.
      All the best
      Liz

  8. is it preferable to use infomal words in academic writing if i cannot find other formal words to paraphrase?i mean intread of repeating the same word ,can we use informal synonym word?

    • Don’t use inappropriate language to avoid repeating. Paraphrasing is about knowing when to paraphrase and also when to not paraphrase.
      Liz

  9. Radhakrishnan Rajendran says

    Hi Liz,

    Good day to you.

    I have been working and writing essays for the questions you have published under the link over 100 essay questions. I am unable to answer some of them or even get an idea about what should be written in the essay.

    So I have started viewing the Ted videos which does cover some of the subjects which are part of the above mentioned 100 questions. Can I take hints from those videos and write it during the examination ?

    Please provide your valuable advise.

    Thanks

    • I don’t know what Ted videos are. You can get ideas from many places online for essay questions.
      All the best
      Liz

  10. Hello Liz

    Can you please check sentence number 6? There is “…as will as for our future” and I think that it should be “… as well as for our future”. If i am wrong, can you please explain how to use this phrase?

    Thank you

  11. Dilmurod says

    hi Liz my name is Dilmurod and i am from uzbekistan. I am sending one of my essay,could you check it please. How could you give me advice to get 8 from writing?

    In many countries schools have severe problems with students behaviour.
    What do you think are causes of this?
    What solutions can you suggest?
    It is irrefutable fact is that value of schools depend on their pupils behaviour. However, in most society of the globe several problems are existed students norm of schools. It is debatable issue that I will put causes as well as I will suggest solutions to this.
    To begin with, one of the main problem is that student do not respect their teacher. Some of the subjects are badly organised and also contemporary students knowledge are better rather than teacher. One possible way to solve this problem would be managing system of required reestablish as well as government should focus to improving qualification of teachers.
    Furthermore, another problem conflict seems amoung schoolchildren and their parents. The reason that owing to not accept condition of school with family atmosphere, pupils unable to adapt this process. Another way to combat conflict would be that school staff should make most meeting with parents.
    Moreover, some students face up to financial problems which belong to tuition fee. Consequently, they loose their confidence to educational perspective. Government should create new founding and grants to capable students who bring benefit to the society in the future.
    Final problem, students are not payed attention by their teachers on hard subjects. As result, they remain constantly as illiterate pupil.
    In alternative way to deal with this problem is that principal of school should organise special project for these pupils to improve their skills.
    By way of conclusion, I pen down saying that if government do not pay attention on time It affect strongly to our social norm.
    (259 words)

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